How'd you like to hang out with Hugh Hefner?


He’s 84 years-old, looks like a wizened fungo bat, and thinks that hot 24 year-old girls like him for who he is – but you’ve gotta admit, Hugh Hefner lives the life. He’s got a mansion, naked girls running amuck, a game room, a grotto, a screening room – everything a man could possibly want (if that man is Glenn Quagmire).


Up until now only his elite friends and A-list celebrities were allowed inside those big gates that guard Debaucheryland. Mere mortals like you and me could only gawk from high-powered telescopes set atop the Beverly Glen Fire Station.


But us poor simps are not on the outside looking in anymore. No sir. Now Hef has included us in his coveted inner circle. Now we’re privy to his innermost thoughts. Because now… Hugh Hefner has discovered Twitter! And even better -- somebody has taught him how to use it! I follow him.  I get vicarious thrills and more important, lots and lots of laughs.  So allow me to "re-tweet" as it were.  See what it's like to lead the life of luxury, fantasy, and absurdity.

Tonight's Mansion activities include live mixed marshal arts & boxing matches in the back yard, plus Dancing Playmates & Painted Ladies.  

I worked on my scrapbook this afternoon, Keith played tennis & Crystal visited celebrity grave sites with Mary O'Conner & Victoria Fuller.

We just finished watching Sacha Baron Cohen in "Bruno." Hilarious. And now it's time to say good night.

Crystal & Anna hung out this afternoon & got their nails done. Claire is back from her Crazy Horse Paris rehearsal in Vegas.

The Entrepreneurs Organization is holding a charity affair here tonight with Playmates, Painted Ladies, 2 DJ's & a Hookah Lounge.

The current Tea Party-Republican controversy was predicted in "Rogues of K Street" in the July Playboy. First rate journalism.

Crystal has enrolled in an acting class along with Anna.

I think Crystal & I are going to get more serious & watch "60 Minutes" before we call it a night.

A non-profit group in Houston, Texas is reading Playboy magazine to the blind.

Playboy has 2 different October covers--one with Sasha Grey & one with Kim Phillips with a college theme.

Crystal & I have had something to eat & now we're relaxing in bed, about to watch "Slumdog Millionaire."

Congresswoman Loretta Sanchez is having lunch at the Mansion.

Jack Nicholson's son gave his frat brothers a Mansion tour Sunday while all the girls were sunbathing. Happy pledges.

Crystal bought her own iPad today.

Buzz Aldrin was talking to Ray Bradbury last night about putting a manned outpost on the moon.

Last night's reference to "come ice cream" should have read "some ice cream."

You can't make this stuff up!
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